Royal wedding etiquette: How to fit in with the royals
Elspeth Lodge Mar 25, 2011 – 5:19 PM ET
So, you’ve been invited to the royal wedding, now what? The impression you make on the blue-blooded crowd will have everything to do with your knowledge of proper royal wedding etiquette. Many guides say if you aren’t British the traditional greeting decorum does not apply, but if you want to fit into the upper echelon of society, following tradition will ensure your social success.
How to interact with the Queen
Reuters / Suzanne Plunkett
Britain’s Queen Elizabeth leaves Buckingham Palace in a horse drawn carriage to attend the State Opening of Parliament, London May 25, 2010
Perhaps the most important sign of your pedigree will be how you greet the Queen, there are different rules for men and women.
How should a man greet the Queen? A man should give a swift bow of the head, not a bow from the waist when meeting the Queen.”Men should also briefly lower their eyes during their greeting, and bow again when the Royal family member leaves,” said Jo Bryant, etiquette adviser for Debrett’s to the Telegraph.
How should a Woman greet the Queen? A woman should give a small, dignified curtsey upon meeting the Queen:” The move should create a distinct bobbing movement, with the upper body kept straight and should be repeated when the member of the Royal family leaves,” said Ms. Bryant to the Telegraph.
Will the Queen shake hands? It is rare, but not unheard of, for the Queen to extend a hand. Always let the Queen initiate a hand shake, never stick out your hand first. Men should never kiss the Queens hand nor give her a firm handshake; simply extend the hand and shake lightly, women do the same.
How do you address the Queen?
- First address The Queen as ‘Your Majesty’, suggests Debrett’s, subsequently call her ‘Ma’am’.
- In conversation substitute ‘Your Majesty’ for ‘you’.
- Wait for the Queen to initiate conversation and never speak first or ask any personal questions.
- Always give the queen space. “… the sight of anyone apparently touching the Queen with anything more than a limp handshake is enough to send the British (or traditionalists in the old Commonwealth) twittering,” reported the Times in 2009.
So, you have a date or a friend by your side, how do you introduce them to The Queen?
Suppose a friend was introducing you, he would simply state your name using the following phrasing: “May I present [substitute date/friend's name here], Your Majesty?”
How do you enter and leave the Abbey in style?
The Queen is always supposed to enter the abbey last and be the first to depart, so make sure a) you arrive early b) you don’t rush out of the abbey before the Queen.
How would you greet other members of the royal family? How would you act when you meet Prince William, for example?
How you greet or are greeted by a royal will likely depend upon their age. Older royals will be conservative; in this case men should bow from the head only and women should make a small curtsy. “Neither movement should be prolonged or exaggerated,” says Debrett’s online. Some guides say it is acceptable albeit less usual to shake hands. Debrett’s online suggests “If you are expecting to be introduced to one of the young Princes, or Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, for example, it might be helpful to speak to their private secretary or equerry for guidance.” Also, “… anyone bearing the style and title of His or Her Royal Highness should be addressed as ‘Your Royal Highness’ for the first time, and subsequently ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ (to rhyme with Pam),” the site says.
How do you dress for a royal wedding? The invitation for a royal will state the dress code, which must be strictly adhered to if you want to fit in like a pro. In the case of Prince William and Kate’s wedding, the invitation states a traditional wedding dress code called “morning dress.”
John Stillwell / Reuters / Pool
An invitation card for the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
John Stillwell / Reuters / Pool
The bottom right-hand corner of the invitation to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding indicates traditional morning dress will be the dress code.
“A lounge suit is what the Brits call a coat and tie. As for the morning coat, that’s a coat with a front cut away, so that the back is longer, which Americans would recognize as a tailcoat, or “tails.” The outfit is topped off with a hat, which comes from the days when men rode horses and wore top hats. And, last but not least, the final touch for a gentleman royal-wedding goer is an umbrella. This is London after all, and the chances are that April Showers will appear at some point April 29,” says ABC news. Generally, a female dress code is not stated on the invitation but deduced from the male dress code.”
ABC news took a trip to Selfridges, one of London top stores, to get some guidance on the female dress code: “Sophie, a stylist from Selfridges, said that because the wedding’s taking place at Westminster Abbey, sleeves are a must. It’s a delicate line between looking “proper” but not “stuffy.” Gloves, for women, are also essential, Sophie said. Dents gloves are the brand de jour, favored by the royal family, hand stitched in Wiltshire for three centuries, and worn at many a royal wedding in bygone days.”
Morning Dress is all about the details, so the former advice alone will not get you far…
About morning dress for men:
The Black Tie Guide defines “morning dress” as “the traditional term for formal day wear.”Those unfamiliar with the term should be aware there are many different forms of morning dress. When meeting the royal family, the “formal” version of morning dress is usually the norm. Below are some excellent guides to consult on details of morning dress…
Website
Debretts website
Andrews and Pygott
Black Tie Guide website
Black Tie website
Black Tie website
Now, women. What does morning dress mean for you?
Debrett’s is a great resource for women as well as men in this department, actually, in all etiquette departments. Below are some helpful hints about woman’s dress code for the royal wedding:
Debrett’s website
Paul Ellis / AFP / Getty Images
Pippa Middleton, the sister of Kate Middleton, arrives for the wedding service of Lady Katie Percy adhering to the proper dress code. 
Reuters / Toby Melville
Britain’s Kate Middleton leaves following the wedding of Laura Parker Bowles and Harry Lopes at St Cyriac’s Church in Lacock, in Wiltshire, west England.
March 25, 2011 | Categories: Breaking News, Royal Ruckus, The National Post | Leave A Comment » | Edit
